Random Thoughts of Ashleigh Noelle

Stop Holding On, Sis

My loves!

What are you allowing to drag you down? Is it ya #OldBae, #NewBae, #Job, #HeauxAzzFriends, #You?

Straight in ya shit huh, sis (or bro)? What are you holding on to that you need to let go in order to gravitate to your best and higher self? As we grow, heal and age we learn that letting go is better than holding on. It hurts when you finally cut the cord, but the pain isn’t forever. It goes away. This isn’t even just for relationship stuff, either. But as a whole in life. With the current mental state of the world, I know people feel like they are losing touch with things, and try to hold on to whatever for the sake of some normalcy, but you don’t have too. You’ll be okay.

It is absolutely okay, to want a new normal. I feel like people get so complacent with fitting in with what is around them. I used to believe in love if we didn’t argue or fight that it wasn’t real. I used to believe that when arguing with friends, you hit below the belt. Attacked to not be attacked. But as I got older, I no longer desired that. I desire peace more than anything, solo or involved. I desire hugs, cuddles and butt rubs not getting hit, choked or tripped. I desire conversations, not shouting matches and being called out my name. I desire speaking my piece, with healthy dialogue back. I desire being excited and that energy comes back. I desire wanting and being wanted back. Sounds simple, right?

For instance, the last time I was in love it was a total disaster. I was blinded and ignored every sign imaginable that showed that relationship was not for me. I fell into the narcissistic trap of a womanizer and my life fell apart. I’ve always been the one who will love harder and more, because as an empath I can feel when people lack that. But what I learned in that relationship is it doesn’t matter how much you love someone, if they don’t love themselves, they can’t love you. That’s totally fine, don’t force a card where it doesn’t fit. Why deal with suffering in love when you can be happy in love. I’ve walked away from friends who I’ve known since elementary school, family members, jobs, hobbies, EVERYTHING. I learned how to create boundaries and I began to implement them, doing that, I lost people. Their access to me changed and I controlled the narrative. One of the things I’ve learned about me during my healing is once I’ve decided I don’t want to care anymore, I don’t. It may take a few days for it to settle, but once it does, baby!

You have to move at all times, with intention to be your best self, even if that means leaving toxicity no matter how much you care. In love my leaving came after physical altercations, consistent public disrespect and humiliation. In friends my leaving came when I felt energy shifts and found myself double taking on people, feeling judged, excluded, ridiculed or belittled.

I share this to say stop holding on to whatever you are. Release it, and heal from it. Learn from it and take the negativity and try to spin it into a positive. You have the ability to push through everything, it starts by getting out of your way and stop holding on to things that weigh you down or no longer serve you. And by all means, make sure your tribe is about you and got your back. But even if for right now you have to remove some people, be intentional about the qualities you want to take the place of what you removed and be open minded.

Until next time,
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