So thanks to one of my lovely twitter followers, I have inspiration to blog today!


First let me state: I agree with this wholeheartedly, and before you get in your feelings, she’s not slut shaming. The premise of the conversation on Twitter was about how some women use sex to force men into relationships, and then talk trash about them when their expectations aren’t met. My response is simple: FUCKING YOURSELF, STOPS YOU FROM FUCKING THE WRONG PERSON.

Now, on to my juiciness.

Let’s Talk about M A S T U R B A T I O N

There was a time where I thought masturbation was nasty, unhealthy and I swore against it. It wasn’t until I was probably 20, with a newborn and my man at the time (my ex-husband) was in Africa on duty. I mean that tingly feeling my lady friend gave off, had me enraged. I was seriously ready to fuck whatever I could, to rid myself of that burning desire to be fucked and sucked like crazy. An old friend of mine suggested I go toy shopping, and I was all like HELL NAH. Not using my fingers! Not sticking a fake dick in me when I have a man, what kinda shit was that?

She talked me down, and told me to go. So we went toy shopping. I bought my first vibrator and I named him Mr. Oooh. Can I say, within one week I was super turned out? LMFAO. I wrote and recorded a whole song about masturbation, vibrators and the way they made me feel. I’ll have to find it and upload it for yall. But seriously, as the pic above says and as I firmly believe, masturbating as a woman, stops you from being with the wrong person sexually. I can say, making love to myself, has been the best experience ever (Here’s my favorite self-love song. Hey K. Michelle). I know what I like, I know what I don’t like. I know what makes me go wild. Being comfortable with making love to yourself, improves your performance with your partner, because you know your body and know what you need, and baby if you gotta teach him/her, or take over to get yours, DO IT.

I dug a little deeper and wanted to give yall some reasons why you should do it, if you don’t; and why you should continue, if you do.

  1. It makes you happier:
    Yes! Busting a nut, makes us happier. During orgasms, our bodies release oxytoxcin and endorphins dopamine. Gives you a natural high. Thus a happier person.
    I masturbate twice a day – in the morning to get my day started and at night before bed. I carry a mini bullet in my purse at all times, you know. Just in case my glow starts to fade. 
  2. You self-esteem increases:
    You become more comfortable with your body. As you explore, you find what you like and what you don’t.
    With my weight loss, I have to learn my body all over again, and its made me fall back in love with ME!
  3. Improved Sex Life:
    Again, you learn what you like, what you don’t. It makes you more confident in bed with your partner, because you can either tell your lover or take over, and that confidence that they see, drives them to continuously please you.
    I love knowing what makes me go. It prevents the awkward moment of questions during sex. I can tell you what I want, or I’ma do what I want and you just gotta get on board.
  4. Eases body and menstrual pain:
    Because of the endorphins released, it cures body pain as if you’ve taken pain medicine and the uterine contractions you fell, helps makes the blood come out faster. Thus, ending the cycle sooner.
    I tested this theory. My menses without sex or masturbation, lasts up to 3 days longer than it did with sex or masturbation involved. Don’t believe me? Try it! (Shout out to men who run red lights!)
  5. Its feels FUCKING AMAZING
    You deserve some me time. Period. Why not make yourself feel all sexy?
    I seriously set my mood with candles, music, some wine, fresh batteries and a nice porn flick. Kids sleep? My time!

With me being single and not into causal sex, this has been the best thing for me. Granted, I miss penis, and cannot wait to find a man who will lay that dick, this is a great alternative. I have tons of toys, and switch it up often to avoid getting bored or getting used to what I have.

Until next time, take time and make love to yourself, and if you want, share with me how you feel. I promise it does nothing but increase your happiness and boosts your esteem, not just sexually either. I wouldn’t be half the woman I am if I wasn’t in love with my mind, BODY and spirit.

Gon now, girl. Get you some You!


  1. YEESSS Girl! My “goodie drawer’ stays stocked! Being a woman over 40 who has dated men in their late 40’s and early 50’s, I’ve found that masturbation (with and without toys) has been better than the real thing. Men of a certain age sometimes can’t “do the job” like they used to and I have to ease that urge even when he can’t. The best thing is when you have a man who isn’t intimidated by the “extra help”. The man I am with now goes toy shopping with me which makes the play time later that much more fun because we are learning and experimenting together.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I buy toys often. It’s like my Victoria secret addiction 😂😂 but I agree it does feel better than the real thing.! I’m not ready for no toys yet. I’ll get there. But your guy sounds awesome. I wish these young cats weren’t so taboo with it. Toys make it fun. Especially when you guys buy them together.


  2. If I could put a gif to show my excitement for this article I would. I masturbate almost everyday. Oh and I’m not single. I love the me time. Most times I do it after work before my husband and child come home. It’s like. release I need to continue on being superwoman. Thank you for this article.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! You’re so welcome. Even when I was involved as soon as he got in the shower I was in my zone! I loved it. I do hate when guys are like “oh let me see” my time is so precious and intimate to me. But it’s amazing and a lot of women think it’s taboo, they’re missing out! Lol


    1. Thank you love bug. I just want my queens to stop falling in the traps of these men/women. Whatever the preference. We truly carry the toxins of ones soul that’s transferred through sexual intercourse and it take sooo much to purge that spirit away. I’m planning an event locally to help teach young women how to protect themselves against it.


  3. Sex is such a big and important part of our well-being and masturbation is totally a huge part of that. There should be no shame in having a healthy, happy relationship with yourself that includes self pleasure. And, as you said, there are tons of awesome health benefits too. Total win!

    Liked by 1 person

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